* James 1:2-8 *
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
You and I both know that patience is something I struggle with BIG-TIME. You also know - and I am slowly realizing - that my persistent impatience is hindering me from experiencing joy or expressing thankfulness. You have given me so much, God: a wonderful husband, a beautiful house, family, health, intelligence and a job - and yet because of my impatience I overlook these blessings.
I'm sorry that I don't thank You enough for these things, Lord. I'm sorry for feeling unhappy with my current situation. I'm sorry that I constantly covet more. Why would You bless me with more when I'm ungrateful for what you've already given me? Especially when what I want is always changing.
Lord, I'm so frustrated! You keep leading me to verses that tell me the same thing, and yet it's like I never hear You. Why do I never learn? Why am I so stubborn? Why do I keep sinning in the same ways, even though I know in my head and my heart that how I'm thinking and acting are wrong? I try my hardest to pray daily about them, and yet I feel like I'm not making progress. I'm getting depressed, and I'm taking my frustrations out on everyone around me. I can't help but beat myself up because I know that I'm not only disappointing myself, but I'm disappointing You.
Help me to trust in Your timing, God. As I struggle through my daily routine, please help me remember that this is Your plan for me right now. Help me to remember that You always know better than I do. Take this impatience and ungratefulness away from me. Remind me daily through Your Word, that You are with me, and You "know the thoughts" You "think toward" me for my future. I know You have a plan for my life - and when I'm always trying to circumvent or re-route it, I'll never be able to fulfill the roles that You intended for me.